Go high

Christian Louboutin classics

Steve Madden

Steve Madden

Christian Louboutin

S. Madden

T.U.K

Yves Saint Laurent

Victoria Beckham

Heels - women hate them; women love them. Many people claim that a "man had to have invented them". I don't care - I love them. They give us better posture, make our legs longer, leaner, sexier and can really make or break an outfit. I don't know when they came into play, maybe 2 or so years ago, but I am absolutely in love with platform pumps. They are ridiculously tall, ridiculously stylish and ridiculously sexy, and I really want a pair in every color.

Yves Saint Laurent might have my favorite style of platform pumps: skinny, skinny heel, concealed platform and every fabulous color I could imagine. Victoria Beckham has a pair in every color and texture: matte, patent, suede. They exude glamour and sexiness and it is guaranteed that when you walk into a room wearing these shoes all eyes will be on you - and they'll be thinking very good things.

The platform pump can make a turn for the worse as you see in the purple T.U.K disaster above. The silhouette of the shoe is ruined. The sleek, sexy style gone. The glittery closed toed look that Steve Madden came out with are nice, except for one flaw, which takes the look from stylish to stripper in one line. The visible division of shoe and platform give off a hooker/stripper vibe and that is a look I do not recommend. Avoid the crazy details when it comes to your platform pumps - stick with classy, stick with sleek- play it up instead with colors and textures. And good God go high - just do a practice run in your living room first because nothing says hooker more than a girl on her back wearing a short dress (even if it is Herve Leger) with her legs up in the air.

Ugg-ly

Ugg

Ugg-ly

Ugg-lier

Ugg-liest
Jimmy Choo

 

I know I can't be the first person to make the connection between Uggs and the word "ugly", because that is what they are. I can't seem to wrap my head around how big of a fashion trend these boots have become. Imagine the girl who stands in front of the mirror thinking: "Hot pink tank top with dirty bra strap showing? Check. Faded jean miniskirt? Check. My Uggs? Check. Is it over 80° outside? Check!" I wouldn't want to walk a day in her shoes.They are brown, sheepskin and shapeless - not words I want to be used to describe one of my fashion staples. I also believe you have to be about 7 feet tall for them to be something close to flattering. 

Ugg boots have been around for a few decades, but what brings them to my attention now is Jimmy Choo's new line for Ugg: Studs, fringe, sheepskin. No. Choo's heels are fabulous, but to begin to design - and design ugly - for Ugg baffles me.

In conclusion (after being quite mean and critical): Uggs aren't stylish - they are ugly. No better word can describe them, so try and try hard not to wear them unless it's below zero and you're inside with all the lights turned off. Even then think twice.